


The Bro Code

by madamteatime



Category: Dong Bang Shin Ki
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-22
Updated: 2012-09-22
Packaged: 2017-11-27 02:37:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/657133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madamteatime/pseuds/madamteatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not always easy being two of the most eligible bachelors in Seoul...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Bro Code

It is a truth universally acknowledged that any man in search of a girlfriend must be in need of a good wingman.  
  
\- - -  
  
Yunho gets in his car and turns on the ignition before checking his buzzing phone. He sighs at the number of new texts on the screen, giving a couple of them a cursory glance before rolling his eyes and tossing his phone in the cup holder.  
  
“Her again?” Changmin asks from the passenger seat, not bothering to look up from his own phone. Yunho grimaces and gives a brief nod. He backs out of the parking lot and there’s silence for a few minutes before Changmin puts his phone away and fixes Yunho with a beady look.  
  
“I can’t believe you still haven’t dumped her,” he says. Yunho squirms.  
  
“I feel bad okay. She’s been having a tough time at work -”  
  
“I don’t care what kind of work-related drama she’s lying to you about now, she crossed the line from possessive girlfriend to creepy stalker the night we came home to find her  _in your bed_. She doesn’t even have keys!”  
  
Yunho grimaces at the memory of that fateful night. Changmin had been so mad he'd almost popped a vein, and while that had been vaguely amusing the gross invasion of privacy wasn’t.  
  
“You know it’s not that simple. Her father’s an important shareholder - ”  
  
“Fuck that,” Changmin says. He grabs Yunho’s still-buzzing phone and types out a message. Yunho shoots him a frown.  
  
“What are you doing?”  
  
“What you’re too nice to do - breaking up with her,” Changmin says.  
  
“Give me that - ” Yunho glances away from the road and makes a swipe for his phone but Changmin pulls it out of his reach, craning his neck to glance at her reply.  
  
“Oh great, now she’s threatening to kill herself,” he reports.  
  
“Changmin stop it. What if she actually does it?”  
  
“Na, she’s the type who feeds off her own drama. I bet this is the most fun she’s had in months,” Changmin grins, texting at the speed of light. Yunho doesn’t want to imagine what sorts of horrible things he’s saying to his, admittedly, rather insane girlfriend.  
  
“Breaking up via text is so unclassy. I should at least talk to her,” Yunho mutters.  
  
“No you shouldn’t, because she’ll start crying and you’ll just give in like you do every time. You need to learn to suck it up - ”  
  
Yunho’s phone starts ringing, his girlfriend having clearly decided that texts are no longer sufficient to express her grief. Changmin lets it go to voicemail and hits the loudspeaker when her voice comes over the line. She sounds hysterical and goes from sobbing pleadingly into the phone to angry threats in the space of ten seconds flat. Her ranting fills the car as she makes some rather imaginative suggestions about what she’s going to do to Yunho’s genitalia when she finds him and they both stare at the phone in horrified silence.  
  
There’s silence for a while after she hangs up and then Changmin turns to Yunho with a grimace.  
  
“You need to change your number man.”  
  
“…Yeah I’m going to do that.”  
  
\- - -  
  
Backstage before a live is always mayhem, which is why it takes Changmin fifteen minutes to find Yunho’s mother in the sea of harried staff and backup dancers. Yunho’s off in soundcheck, so he leads her to their mostly empty dressing room and clears a space on the couch for her. She sits and pats the space beside her.  
  
“Sit with me for a while. If you’re not busy,” She says.  
  
“For you I am always free,” Changmin grins, dropping down beside her. Mrs Jung hugs him and he sinks happily into her embrace. His family can’t make it tonight so it’s nice to have her here - sometimes all a man really needs to get through the day is a mother’s hug, even if it’s not his own. Changmin used to be pretty shy around Yunho’s family, but after all this time he’s basically a second son to them.  
  
“You look thin,” she says, cupping his face. “Haven’t you been taking care of yourself?”  
  
“Hyung doesn’t feed me,” Changmin says, mournful and completely untruthfully. Mrs Jung frowns.  
  
“I sent him all this home-cooked food last week, didn't he give you any?”  
  
Changmin widens his eyes innocently. “No, he ate it all himself!” he says. This is a blatant lie - Changmin had eaten most of that food and let Yunho have his leftovers.  
  
“I’m going to have words with him. I specifically told him half of that was yours,” Mrs Jung says. Changmin nods enthusiastically.  
  
“Yeah, you should tell him off. He’s been very mean to me lately,” he says, curling into her side and dropping his head on her shoulder. Mrs Jung laughs and pats his cheek.  
  
“Who could be mean to you,” she says, and Changmin grins.  
  
“Right? I’m adorable.”  
  
When Yunho enters a few minutes later, looking stressed and harried, he spares them only a brief glance and greets his mother distractedly before leaving again. Mrs Jung tuts, unimpressed.  
  
“He’s got no manners anymore,” she says, shaking her head. Changmin can see his stylist hovering nearby, wanting to fix his hair and makeup one last time. He ignores her.  
  
“He’s very bad,” he agrees. “You should punish him.”  
  
Yunho comes back into the room and his mother crooks her finger at him. “Come here,” she orders. Yunho wanders over grudgingly.  
  
“Ma, I don’t have time right now - ” he starts.  
  
“Changmin has time to keep me company and you can’t even spare me a proper greeting,” she says. Yunho shoots Changmin a long-suffering look, but if he was hoping to find support in that corner he’s sorely mistaken.  
  
“It’s his own fault,” Changmin rats on him blithely. “He was late this morning so I got done with everything before him.”  
  
“Why were you late?” Mrs Jung demands. “That’s very irresponsible, you know all these people rely on you - ”  
  
“I slept in okay? It’s no big deal,” Yunho says, sinking resignedly into a nearby chair.  
  
“And I hear you’ve been giving Changmin a hard time lately. It’s your job to take care of him but look at how thin he’s gotten! I’m very disappointed Yunho - ”  
  
Yunho’s jaw drops open. “Wha -  _you!_ ” he says, pointing an accusing finger at Changmin, who grins back at him. “You little shi - ” Mrs Jung’s eyebrows snap together and Yunho quickly changes what he was about to say. “ - shifty bastard.”  
  
This isn’t much better, and Changmin cackles as Mrs Jung explodes at her son, berating him for all his various shortcomings (real or imagined). His work done, Changmin bounces to his feet and Yunho glares at him as he walks past.  
  
“I’m going to kill you later,” he mutters out of the corner of his mouth. Changmin clasps his shoulder.  
  
“Take it like a man,” he says. He wanders into the hallway to find a familiar figure talking to one of their dancers. Jung Jihye is smart, tall and very pretty, and if she were anyone else Changmin would have asked her out a long time ago. Unfortunately she happens to be Yunho’s sister, and Yunho has made it very clear to him that she’s off limits. Naturally, this only makes her even more attractive. She spots him as he comes over and turns to him with a smile.  
  
“Hey,” Changmin says. “I didn’t know you were coming today.”  
  
“I managed to get some time off work,” Jihye says. “Is mom here already?”  
  
“Yeah, she’s busy telling your brother off for being a failure to humanity,” he says, jabbing a thumb towards their dressing room. Jihye’s lips twitch.  
  
“You shouldn’t mess with him like that, you know he’ll hit you for it later,” she says. Changmin smirks.  
  
“What makes you think it was my fault?” he asks, batting his eyes innocently. He’s flirting shamelessly and he doesn’t care.  
  
“Because you’re you,” Jihye says. She has a point, and Changmin grins at her.  
  
“I’m glad you came today,” he says. A second later he almost falls over from a smack to the back of his head.  
  
“Keep moving junior,” Yunho growls, striding past him to hug his sister. Changmin rubs his head ruefully - he’d earned that one.  
  
Later when they’re winding down from the live he finds himself fiddling with his phone, fingers hovering over a particular number. Yunho is sprawled out on the couch beside him as everyone packs up around them, leaving the two with a moment to themselves.  
  
“I’m asking Jihye out,” Changmin announces.  
  
“No you’re not,” Yunho says without opening his eyes.  
  
“You can’t tell me who to date!”  
  
“I can this time, and you’re not asking her out.”  
  
Changmin fidgets. “She’ll probably say no anyway,” he mutters.  
  
Yunho opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. “She won’t. Not if it’s you,” he says softly.  
  
Changmin immediately pounces on this new piece of information. “Aha, I knew it! She is totally hot for me. I’m calling her right now.”  
  
Yunho lunges for him and they wrestle briefly for his phone, pulling apart when their manager walks past and gives them an unimpressed look.  
  
“Hyung, this is ridiculous! Why won't you let me date her?” Changmin whines. Yunho has taken his phone and tossed it on the dressing table and Changmin is too tired to retrieve it now.  
  
“It’s simple. I’m destined to hate anyone she dates and I don’t want to hate you,” Yunho shrugs.  
  
“That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Just think, we could be brothers for real!”  
  
“You’re not dating my sister,” Yunho says flatly.  
  
Changmin gives him the finger, then quickly runs away when Yunho sees and lunges for him again.  
  
\- - -  
  
“Okay let’s do it one more time. Take it from the top.”  
  
Boa gets into position and Yunho retreats to the corner, waiting for his entrance. They’ve been practicing the couple dance for Boa’s comeback for the better part of the day and everyone’s exhausted. They had the dance down within the first hour, but the two of them are nothing if not perfectionists.  
  
“And here we have our happy couple, shamelessly making googly eyes at each other in a room full of people,” Changmin waltzes into the room just as Yunho spins Boa, a packet of chips in one hand and a drink in his other. Boa glances at him, distracted, and misses the next step.  
  
“Go away,” Boa says. Changmin ignores her.  
  
“For so long they’ve hid their burning desire for each other under the pretext of friendship, but no more! The S.S YunBoa has well and truly set sail and it promises to be the ship of dreams!”  
  
Yunho rolls his eyes. A couple of their dancers snigger.  
  
“You’re being very annoying right now,” Boa informs Changmin. He sidles up to her and swings an arm around her shoulders.  
  
“You would have adorable babies,” he says. Boa pushes him away.  
  
“Ignore him. Changmin thinks that just because he’s incapable of forming platonic relationships with women everyone else should be too,” Yunho sniffs. Changmin gives him an affronted look.  
  
“I have platonic female friends,” he says.  
  
“Name one.”  
  
“Victoria?”  
  
“And how many times did she have to turn you down before that happened?” Yunho smirks. Changmin waves a hand dismissively.  
  
“Irrelevant. Besides, we’re not talking about me right now. We’re talking about how you two refuse to acknowledge the amazing chemistry between you.”  
  
“We do have amazing chemistry. It’s called being best friends,” Boa says. She and Yunho exchange an unimpressed look before getting into position again. Changmin shakes his head and retreats to the wall, offering some chips to their choreographer as they run through the dance again. At one point Yunho gets right up in Boa’s face and Changmin wolf whistles.  
  
“Kiss her!” he calls out.  
  
“Can you fuck off?” Yunho says, not missing a beat.  
  
“That’s not very nice.”  
  
“Can you fuck off please?”  
  
“Better. And no, I can’t. I have nothing else to do and you’re my ride home.”  
  
Yunho groans and resigns himself to a long night of heckling.  
  
\- - -  
  
It’s not often that Changmin has the opportunity to simply lie on the grass and appreciate the weather of a good day, so when he finds himself with some free time an hour before an SMTown live the grass is straight where he heads. Lucky for him, he finds a friend already there.  
  
“Hey kiddo,” he says, tweaking Seohyun’s ponytail before flopping down beside her. She looks at him over her book.  
  
“Changmin, please. I’m twenty one, it’s hardly appropriate for you to still call me kiddo,” she says.  
  
“You’ll always be fifteen in my heart,” Changmin declares.  
  
“And you’ll always be fifteen in your head.”  
  
“Ooo burn,” says Yunho, walking past on his way to their stylist’s tent. Changmin casually flips him off behind his back.  
  
“Why are you like this to me,” he asks Seohyun. She smiles.  
  
“Maybe you should try being more likeable, like Yunho oppa.”  
  
“You should try living with him,” Changmin mutters.  
  
“I’m sure the experience wouldn’t be horrible,” Seohyun says, looking back at her book. Changmin makes ridiculous cooing noises.  
  
“Ooo, so that’s how it is. You should’ve said something sooner,” he teases. Seohyun’s shoulders stiffen in a way that indicates she’s annoyed.  
  
“There’s nothing to say. Now go away, I’m trying to read,” she says. Changmin wonders if he’s bored enough to risk her wrath, then decides that yes, he totally is. He pokes her side.  
  
“Seohyun and Yunho sitting in a tree, k - i - s -”  
  
“Go. Away,” Seohyun grits out, whacking his shoulder. Changmin makes an affronted sound and pokes her again. She hits him around the head with her book and Changmin retaliates by pinching her waist. Seohyun gasps and makes a lunge for him and they roll around in the grass for a bit, somehow ending up with Changmin on top pinning Seohyun’s wrists down so she won’t claw at him.  
  
Yunho emerges from a nearby tent and raises an eyebrow.  
  
“Jeez you two, get a room,” he says.  
  
Changmin gapes at him.  
  
Seohyun takes the opportunity to knee him in the groin.  
  
\- - -  
  
Yunho knew it was a bad idea for Changmin to go out tonight. Some supermodel he’s been chasing for months had turned out to have a fiancé and apparently he needed to commiserate with friends, which was Changmin for ‘get shitfaced and send drunk texts to Yunho’.  
  
Yunho sighs and waits for Changmin to pick up his call. When he finally does he hears a slurred, “Hyung? It’s my hyung guys! Everyone shut up for a second!” before a breathless and completely smashed-sounding Changmin says, “Hello?”  
  
“Stop texting me,” Yunho says.  
  
“You didn’t like my lullaby of love? I wrote it just for you.” He can practically  _hear_  Changmin pouting.  
  
“It had the word penis in it five times. No lullaby should ever have the word penis in it.”  
  
“So you didn’t think ‘massage you gently with my penis’ was a poetic turn of phrase?”  
  
Yunho can’t even think of a reply to that. He rubs his forehead. “Stop drinking and come home right now,” he orders.  
  
“But I - whoops! ahaha ow - ” There are a couple of thuds and the call fills with static for a few seconds before Changmin comes back on the line. “Sorry, Kyu spilled something in my lap.”  
  
“What was it?” Yunho asks. Red wine stains are a bitch to clean and it’s his turn to do the laundry.  
  
“Minho,” Changmin says, and cracks up like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. Yunho can hear Kyuhyun’s hyena laugh somewhere in the background and shakes his head. Changmin can’t stop laughing long enough to be coherent anymore so eventually a new voice comes over the line.  
  
“Yunho hyung?” Minho slurs. “Please come take your drunker half home.”  
  
Yunho is already reaching for his keys. “I’ll be there in ten. Don’t let him drink any more.”  
  
“Yes sir!” Minho says. Yunho knows he’ll fail.  
  
He gets to Kyuhyun’s apartment and Changmin immediately clings to him, mumbling something about how Yunho is his favourite hyung in the whole world as he waves goodbye to the other guys and bundles him into the car.  
  
“I’m giving up on women,” Changmin announces on the way home. Yunho snorts.  
  
“Oh really,” he says.  
  
“Yep. I’m going to marry you and we shall have five beautiful children together,” Changmin says happily. Yunho’s eye twitches.  
  
“Why five?”  
  
“Two for you, two for me and one to share.”  
  
“We are talking about kids right, not bento boxes?”  
  
“Don’t be silly hyung. If we had five bento boxes they’d all be mine.”  
  
Yunho laughs as he parks the car and comes around to the passenger side to help Changmin out. He teeters upright by using Yunho as support and they make their halting way into the house.  
  
“I guess my consent in all this is irrelevant,” Yunho says as Changmin mumbles something about retiring to Hawaii to raise their family.  
  
“Pshaw, consent! You are getting married and I shall be your best man,” he slurs with impressive diction.  
  
“I thought you were going to be the bride?”  
  
“Fuck no. You’re going to be the bride and Boa will be the groom.” Changmin seems to find his own statement so amusing he has some trouble getting his shoes off in the front hall because he’s so busy giggling. Yunho sighs and feels an exasperated smile tug at his lips.  
  
“What exactly is so funny now?”  
  
“You. . .in a wedding dress,” Changmin giggles. The mental image is so ridiculous even Yunho can’t help giving a helpless chuckle.  
  
“Fuck off,” he laughs. Changmin giggles all the way down the hallway and into the living room before dropping to his knees and rummaging under the sofa for something.  
  
“Found it!” he emerges victorious, a dust bunny in his hair. He’s holding aloft a cheap plastic ring, painted gold with a dab of red where a stone should be. Yunho’s brow furrows.  
  
“What on earth?”  
  
“It fell out of the cereal box this morning,” Changmin says. He shuffles onto one knee and fixes Yunho with an imploring look. “Jung Yunho, do you take Shim Boa to be your lawfully wedded husband - ”  
  
“Who the hell is Shim Boa?”  
  
“I’ll take that as a yes. You may now kiss the bride!” Changmin bounces to his feet and plants a sloppy, wet kiss on Yunho’s cheek. Yunho makes a face, but he allows Changmin to slip the ring onto his finger and admire it in the light.  
  
“You can get me one later,” he says generously.  
  
“No doubt from out of another cereal box,” Yunho mutters under his breath. Changmin pretends not to hear him and wraps his arms around Yunho’s neck.  
  
“Now carry me to my room,” he demands.  
  
“But you’re heavy,” Yunho complains, though he’s already bending to lift Changmin. Changmin squeals happily as Yunho carries him bridal-style into his room and deposits him on the bed. He makes to leave but Changmin yanks him down beside him and twines all his limbs around Yunho, effectively trapping him in his embrace.  
  
“Now sleep, I’m tired,” Changmin says, and promptly drops off.  
  
Yunho examines the ring on his finger as Changmin snuffles against his shoulder and feels a smile tug at his lips.  
  
\- - -  
  
It is also a truth universally acknowledged that sometimes all a man really needs is a bro.  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [Vietnamese translation by TranMay](https://www.facebook.com/notes/457430051013016/)


End file.
